Getting adjusted

Today was a little bit harder than yesterday. Another set of soldiers killed, at a time when the Taliban usually scale down their activity. Then a rocket attack on the base, which I have known for years to be relatively common, but which was amplified a bit by a frantic call from my mother-in-law, who is learning all this about Afghanistan at once.

We also had our first phone call from Kandahar, alerting me to the fact that I'm wound tighter than I thought. I managed to play it cool all through the first few days, including reassuring the M-I-L that all of this is normal and nothing to worry about. The thing is that it DOES worry me that we are still seeing major IED explosions and casualties, on top of news all summer and fall that the amount of ISAF-controlled land around Kandahar is shrinking. I mean, take this for what it's worth - simply my impressions from working in and watching the news. I have no expertise in military operations, insurgencies or international affairs, so for all I know it's better than it was at this time last year. But that's not what I have been hearing since last winter. Anyway.

I have played it cool since S left, right up until he called tonight. Then I lost it. The call was frustrating, with a time lag between when one person speaks and the other person hears it, plus the general "what are you doing tomorrow?" and "I can't tell you that" response. Now I'm feeling the pressure in my shoulders and wondering how long I've been hunched up like a stress case.

There's more to write but life goes on - I am working in a new newsroom tomorrow and more than a little freaked about it. Thank God for good friends who talk me off metaphorical ledges. There are many who have sincerely offered 24-7 support, and they will be the ones who keep me in the right headspace.